covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
