the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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