i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize