New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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