I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
