Having a random hookup so left but love u
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize