Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she smelled like a LAN party
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize