Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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