I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize