Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.

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(914): View more from New York

i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.

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(585): View more from New York

okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila

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(310): View more from California

I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?

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(630): View more from Illinois

I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.

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