i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
