OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
