he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
