I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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