The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
