he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
