I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
