To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
