at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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