dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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