I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
