Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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