AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
