NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
