my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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