Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
