white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
