he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Randomize
