did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
