he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
