id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
