i already hear my dad disowning me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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