My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize