At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
