what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
did i walk over a car last night?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
