Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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