I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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