I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize