i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
