i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize