So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
