Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize