I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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