Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
