I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
