planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
