She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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