the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
