If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
