My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
