my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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