Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
