How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize