Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
