Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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