did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
