is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
